Saturday, December 27, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Snowing Rain
Surrounded by rain, surrounded by Love
Rain
I sit listening to the soft yet constant pattering of rain on the roof, bathing in the gray afternoon light of Seattle in December. Raindrops shift to snowflakes back to rain this whole day. A day of pause for me, having barely made it home for Christmas. Mechanical problems on the plane in Istanbul caused an unexpected stop in London, where we ended up spending the night. Our consequential missed flight connections caused another night's stay in New York. Two angels dressed up in Delta shirts booked me a flight to "San Francisco" via Seattle (and then Salt Lake City) in order to get me home on time. (Rules are that any rebooking of flights must be to the same destination of the orignial ticket (which was SFO). I was originally going to have a day to rest and repack and then fly to Seattle from Oakland, but I had let go of this plan in London).
Snow
Maybe it's because I am partly sick and recovering from jet lag, but part of me wasn't ready for Christmas. After barely making it home, and returning from a fairly intense journey, it felt strange to be whisked up and pushed along with all of the Christmas traditions and gatherings and people and services. Whoah! Hold on! I'm not ready for schedules and outings and presents and traditions. I just want to sit here, with laughter and stories, until the sounds of hearth's drums lull us to sleep. I just want to bask in the presence of my beloved, spirit touching spirit, with silence our embrace.
The snow is melting from the roads and tree boughs. People return to their cars, scattering slush off the side of the streets. I want this unusual weather to stay a little longer. Freeze this moment- in between venture and return- a few more days. Put a frozen sanctuary around time and just cherish. Cherish before do. Cherish before act.
Snowing Harder
I am surrounded by water, surrounded by Love
The trip gradually allows for my reflection. I think of my homeward bound traveling companions and the ways in which we each fell apart and found strength and even offered others a pillar on which to lean. How Perry, when hearing the announcement of our unexpected landing in London, sensed the deep fear of his airplane row companion. Recognizing the words uttered beneath her breath, he joined her in saying Al Fatiha, the Islamic prayer spoken before each Call to Prayer. How we looked after one another, still sensing the continued pilgrimage we were on. How, in a jet of almost 300 people, we said goodbye to the strangers-no-longer with whom we had shared anxiety and gratitude over the last two days.
What else longs for my remembrance?
Ah, the food! The savory olives doused in olive oil, and the abundant and colorful cheeses! Lentil soup and the piles and piles of bread...
The Call to Prayer on loud speaker sounding out over the gorgeous city of Istanbul.
Remembering perhaps most sorely, the melodies of the Elijas and Sufi chants that keep bubbling up into my throat.
And the zickurs- perhaps the memory furthest from my life here. The risk of entering, with others, into song and chant and rhythm and prayer.
The Dervish Brother's House filled with warm rugs and even warmer hospitality.
And, of course, the precious souls who guided our journey- Ismael Baba, Duja Hanim, Katherin Hanim, Issa Baba, and Ibrahim Baba.
Holding these memories is like sweet honey to my soul.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Grateful for Gratitude
Giving thanks for abundance
is sweeter than the abundance itself.
Should one who is absorbed with the Generous One
be distracted by the gift?
Thankfulness is the soul of benifence;
abundance is but the hunk,
for thankfulness brings you to the place where the Beloved lives.
Abundance yields heedlessness;
thankfulness, alertness:
hunt for bounty with the snare of gratitude to the King.
Mathnawi III: 2895-2897
At last I sit alone. The Call to Prayer is singing outside the window of my hotel room, cracked open for optimal listening. It is good to sit alone. It has been such a beautiful trip. Beautiful with laughter. Beautiful with the joy of sharing with other human beings the depths of my own heart and the wonders of this world. I have so relished the time with these beautiful souls with whom I have traveled and in this moment I cherish the solitude. I am leaving this adventure tomorrow and the trip now begs my reflection.
I can feel my gratitude. It feels like a cushy box that surrounds me. The edges are soft and when I flex my toes up towards my heart, my gratitude gets more intense and warm. But it is always there. In Konya, Ibrahim Baba (Baba is a term for endearment for people who are special and great teachers. That is my translation at least!) gave a sochbet (class) on gratitude. He spoke how much we (at least in the U.S.) forget to value gratitude. That remembering gratitude is a spiritual practice and also a kind of activism.
When Ibrahim Baba spoke, some thing unleashed inside me. Here I am, Lord! This is me, Ibrahim is talking about. Gratitude and love for life is such a huge part of my being and for so long I have, in small ways, hidden it or not know what to do with it. I have posed it against critical thinking and scorned myself for not analyzing things as readily as my classmates. I do not want to create a binary between gratitude and criticism. I believe one can be a very grateful person and have a critical mind, critiquing culture and systems of oppression in this world. But I have come to prize critique way over gratitude for what has and what is that has allowed me to exist in the present moment. And Ibrahim's words helped me to know myself in a more loving and confident way.
There is so much more to write but I will leave it here for now.
In deep gratitude for this small piece of time I am able to have on this beautiful earth, Cassie
is sweeter than the abundance itself.
Should one who is absorbed with the Generous One
be distracted by the gift?
Thankfulness is the soul of benifence;
abundance is but the hunk,
for thankfulness brings you to the place where the Beloved lives.
Abundance yields heedlessness;
thankfulness, alertness:
hunt for bounty with the snare of gratitude to the King.
Mathnawi III: 2895-2897
At last I sit alone. The Call to Prayer is singing outside the window of my hotel room, cracked open for optimal listening. It is good to sit alone. It has been such a beautiful trip. Beautiful with laughter. Beautiful with the joy of sharing with other human beings the depths of my own heart and the wonders of this world. I have so relished the time with these beautiful souls with whom I have traveled and in this moment I cherish the solitude. I am leaving this adventure tomorrow and the trip now begs my reflection.
I can feel my gratitude. It feels like a cushy box that surrounds me. The edges are soft and when I flex my toes up towards my heart, my gratitude gets more intense and warm. But it is always there. In Konya, Ibrahim Baba (Baba is a term for endearment for people who are special and great teachers. That is my translation at least!) gave a sochbet (class) on gratitude. He spoke how much we (at least in the U.S.) forget to value gratitude. That remembering gratitude is a spiritual practice and also a kind of activism.
When Ibrahim Baba spoke, some thing unleashed inside me. Here I am, Lord! This is me, Ibrahim is talking about. Gratitude and love for life is such a huge part of my being and for so long I have, in small ways, hidden it or not know what to do with it. I have posed it against critical thinking and scorned myself for not analyzing things as readily as my classmates. I do not want to create a binary between gratitude and criticism. I believe one can be a very grateful person and have a critical mind, critiquing culture and systems of oppression in this world. But I have come to prize critique way over gratitude for what has and what is that has allowed me to exist in the present moment. And Ibrahim's words helped me to know myself in a more loving and confident way.
There is so much more to write but I will leave it here for now.
In deep gratitude for this small piece of time I am able to have on this beautiful earth, Cassie
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Song of the Reed
The Song of the Reed
by Hazrett Mevlana Yelaluddin Rumi
Now listen to this reed-flute's deep lament
About the heartache being apart has meant:
Since from the reed-bed they uprooted me
My song's expressed each human's agony,
A breast which separation"s split in two
Is what I seek, to share this pain with you:
When kept from their true origin, all yearn
For union on the day they can return.
Amongst the crowd, alone i mourn my fate,
With good and bad I've learned to integrate,
That we were friends each one was satisfied,
But none sought out my secrets from inside,
My deepest secrets in this song I wail
But eyes and ears can't penetrate the veil:
Body and soul are joined to form one whole
But no one is allowed to see my soul.
It's fire, not just hot air the reed flute's cry,
If you don't have this fire than you should die!
Love's fire is what makes every redd-flute pine,
Love's fervor thus lends potency to wine,
The reed consoles those forced to be apart,
It's notes will life the veil upon your heart
Where's antidote or poison like this song,
Or confidant or one who's pined so long?
This reed relates a torturous path ahead,
Recalls a love with which Majnun's heart bled.
The few who hear the truths the reed has sung
Have lost their wits so they can speak this tongue.
The day is wasted if its spent in grief,
Consumed by burning aches without relief
Good time have long passed, but we wouldn't care
When you're with us, our friend beyond compare!
While ordinary men on drops can thrive
A fish needs oceans daily to survive
They way the ripe must feel the raw can't tell
My speech must be concise and so fairwell!
translated by Jawid Mojaddedi
The Mevlani order of Tasawwf (similar to Sufism) claims this poem as a primary foundation to their path. We are all searching for a deeper love, a connection with that greater source of Love that is in all of us, in the mountains and hills, and is in Allah. Shams was a dear beloved to Rumi and when he was forced out of Turkey, Rumi started writing his separation poetry. His longing for reconnection with the Beloved does not distinguish between human love and divine love.
When I began this journey, I was coming from a place of a mild but present amount of disconnection and lostness in my life in Oakland/ Berkeley. As this trip has progressed, I realize that I have a lot of fear around exclusion. I am realizing that it is all part of the same thing: my longing for love is a longing for connection with Spirit that is alive in everyone as well as the Great Eternal One. I also think that my quest for this love comes from a need to be known.
Laughter and music, levity and gravity help me to feel known by others. Right now there is a music therapists group staying at the Dervish Brothers House and we have had the opportunity to sit in on some of their sessions. One of the things that stuck with me last night was that we are all reeds plucked from our Source, and that life is about the striving to reconnect with that Source. This is what music is. And I would add laughter, play, deep listening, mind altering substances, sex, food, and, of course, ultimate frisbe.
It is good to be reminded of my incompleteness and capacity for wholeness as we join in the Muslim Call to Prayer everyday, as we do Zicker, remembrance, and raise our voices and our hearts to the One who's love is everlasting and all-embracing. It is good to feel known by my traveling companions. Amein, Evallah.
by Hazrett Mevlana Yelaluddin Rumi
Now listen to this reed-flute's deep lament
About the heartache being apart has meant:
Since from the reed-bed they uprooted me
My song's expressed each human's agony,
A breast which separation"s split in two
Is what I seek, to share this pain with you:
When kept from their true origin, all yearn
For union on the day they can return.
Amongst the crowd, alone i mourn my fate,
With good and bad I've learned to integrate,
That we were friends each one was satisfied,
But none sought out my secrets from inside,
My deepest secrets in this song I wail
But eyes and ears can't penetrate the veil:
Body and soul are joined to form one whole
But no one is allowed to see my soul.
It's fire, not just hot air the reed flute's cry,
If you don't have this fire than you should die!
Love's fire is what makes every redd-flute pine,
Love's fervor thus lends potency to wine,
The reed consoles those forced to be apart,
It's notes will life the veil upon your heart
Where's antidote or poison like this song,
Or confidant or one who's pined so long?
This reed relates a torturous path ahead,
Recalls a love with which Majnun's heart bled.
The few who hear the truths the reed has sung
Have lost their wits so they can speak this tongue.
The day is wasted if its spent in grief,
Consumed by burning aches without relief
Good time have long passed, but we wouldn't care
When you're with us, our friend beyond compare!
While ordinary men on drops can thrive
A fish needs oceans daily to survive
They way the ripe must feel the raw can't tell
My speech must be concise and so fairwell!
translated by Jawid Mojaddedi
The Mevlani order of Tasawwf (similar to Sufism) claims this poem as a primary foundation to their path. We are all searching for a deeper love, a connection with that greater source of Love that is in all of us, in the mountains and hills, and is in Allah. Shams was a dear beloved to Rumi and when he was forced out of Turkey, Rumi started writing his separation poetry. His longing for reconnection with the Beloved does not distinguish between human love and divine love.
When I began this journey, I was coming from a place of a mild but present amount of disconnection and lostness in my life in Oakland/ Berkeley. As this trip has progressed, I realize that I have a lot of fear around exclusion. I am realizing that it is all part of the same thing: my longing for love is a longing for connection with Spirit that is alive in everyone as well as the Great Eternal One. I also think that my quest for this love comes from a need to be known.
Laughter and music, levity and gravity help me to feel known by others. Right now there is a music therapists group staying at the Dervish Brothers House and we have had the opportunity to sit in on some of their sessions. One of the things that stuck with me last night was that we are all reeds plucked from our Source, and that life is about the striving to reconnect with that Source. This is what music is. And I would add laughter, play, deep listening, mind altering substances, sex, food, and, of course, ultimate frisbe.
It is good to be reminded of my incompleteness and capacity for wholeness as we join in the Muslim Call to Prayer everyday, as we do Zicker, remembrance, and raise our voices and our hearts to the One who's love is everlasting and all-embracing. It is good to feel known by my traveling companions. Amein, Evallah.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Let me love you
Thıs trıp ıs helpıng me to see that İ love to love God. I probably could've fıgured thıs out a whıle ago, but there's not that many opportunıtıes to really praıse God where İ lıve. İts almost lıke, gıve me somethıng to worshıp, as long as ıt doesn,t hurt somethıng or someone else, and İ'll worshıp ıt. Rather, I think it is, gıve me a way to worshıp, and ı,ll open my heart to ıt. all ways to worshıp lead to Allah. La ılahe ıllallah. Nothıng exısts outsıde of the Oneness of Beıng. I feel I am made to worshıp God. Made to praıse Allah and offer my lıfe ın thanksgıvıng and adoratıon. Of course, sometımes I don,t feel completely at home ın a certaın kınd of prayer or worshıp. But what an honor to be able to experıence all these dıfferent ways to love Allah. And I am so grateful to be wıth people who ı feel know me and I can trust to hold me ın all thıs openıng and rıskıng of love of Allah.
levıty and prayer
Thank God for Amına Nur. Amına Nur ıs a 6 year old gırl who ıs part of our group. I have a tendency to take everythıng so serıously. I don't know ıf Amına Nur ıs ever outsıde of play. She ıs constantly jumpıng, crawlıng, slıdıng as a lıon, cat, or frog. She ınvolves everyone ın her play and helps me to keep perspectıve. Sometımes I can burden thıs experıence of worshıp and communıng wıth the dıvıne wıth a serıousness that takes me away from thıs world ınstead of makıng me more ıntımate wıth ıt. Blessed Be Allah and Blessed be the beautıful manıfestatıons of play and laughter that gıves Allah reason to smıle and reason to love.
Sema and the movement of Spırıt
Sema ıs a state of beıng. A unıon wıth the ultımate, wıth Allah, wıth God. When we went to the Sema last nıght, I had the huge gıft of sıttıng next to the Shayka, a descendent of Rumı and a hıghly respected relıgıous leader here. The Sema ceremony consısted of four movements of the semazıns turnıng. Each movement had dıfferent musıc and each brought to me a dıfferent feelıng. Wıth so many semazıns spınnıng ın the mıddle of thıs huge theatre type room, you can feel the breeze they create. As the semazıns are spınnıng, they are becomıng lost ın Love. They enter and retreat from heaven and earth a thousand tımes as they turn and open themselves to the Infınıte Source, the Unıon of All Beıng, God.
I lıke to thınk that I was somehow a part of theır unıon wıth God. That somehow thıs peace was caught on the wıngs of the breeze that brushed my face and kıssed my forehead.
insha'allah and welcome
Welcome to my Rumi Imersion reflections. The entries that follow are inspired by a class I am currently taking that has taken me to Istanbul and Konya in Turkey and into the rhythm, prayers, and love in which Rumi and his Mevlani followers lived and live. The entries are rather short because internet connection and computer availability here are sparse. Because of this my usual essay stye writing has morphed into a rough kind of poetry. I hope you enjoy and I hope write more thoroughly at some time, insha'allah.
God willıng, Primero a Dios, Ojala, Insha,allah. Here, there is hardly a paragraph that ıs spoken without "insha'allah." It ıs a blessing that each of us are born. Each moment, a blessing, a gıft, an ınvıtatıon towards unıon wıth that whıch holds us, holds all, nothıng exısts outsıde of thıs holding.
In the u.s., ıt is uncustomary to ask for permıssıon and to gıve thanks. We do ıt but it ıs not part of our ordınary, everyday conversatıons. Instead of ınsha'allah, we have ındıvıdual plans, determınatıon, agendas. If we compromıse, ıt ıs a sıgn of weakness, femınınıty, cowardness.
To me, İnsha'allah means acknowledgıng that we are not the ultımate creators. We are not everythıng and cannot know everythıng. There ıs a beauty and mystery that holds us and makes us. We are part of thıs beauty and yet ıt ıs greater that we wıll ever know.
Let us open ourselves to thıs lıfe, thıs gıft, thıs moment. Ameın. Evallah.
God willıng, Primero a Dios, Ojala, Insha,allah. Here, there is hardly a paragraph that ıs spoken without "insha'allah." It ıs a blessing that each of us are born. Each moment, a blessing, a gıft, an ınvıtatıon towards unıon wıth that whıch holds us, holds all, nothıng exısts outsıde of thıs holding.
In the u.s., ıt is uncustomary to ask for permıssıon and to gıve thanks. We do ıt but it ıs not part of our ordınary, everyday conversatıons. Instead of ınsha'allah, we have ındıvıdual plans, determınatıon, agendas. If we compromıse, ıt ıs a sıgn of weakness, femınınıty, cowardness.
To me, İnsha'allah means acknowledgıng that we are not the ultımate creators. We are not everythıng and cannot know everythıng. There ıs a beauty and mystery that holds us and makes us. We are part of thıs beauty and yet ıt ıs greater that we wıll ever know.
Let us open ourselves to thıs lıfe, thıs gıft, thıs moment. Ameın. Evallah.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Interwoven identities, interweaving compassion
Hello! I am posting a reflection paper I wrote for the class, "Andalusia," where the Professor asked us, in short, why is this important? WHy are we bothering to study Andalusia and religions in this way? so I hope you enjoy...
Why bother studying Andalusia? Why put forth all this energy and expense towards studying a specific time and place that supposedly is so far away from the current time and place in which we live (farther physically for some than for others, as this is a distance-learning course!)? My question in response is, “how can you not??” How can you not study the inter-relations between Islam, Judaism and Christianity when that is what is true?? The next question for me, then, is, “Why bother studying Christianity, Islam and Judaism as separate and distinct religions?” Why bother studying them without any analysis on contemporary culture and how religion and imperialism have worked together to lift up and push down certain bodies and peoples?
One of the things that struck me in learning about the formation of the early Christian Church was how much the Bishops and Councils tried to ignore Judaism. Actually, much of Christian identity was negative, in that the early Church leaders were defining Christianity by how it was not like Judaism. Judaism was a nuisance to the early Christians who wanted to show the inerrant and complete message of Christianity. The fact that Christianity came from Judaism, and that Jesus was a Jew, just got in the way.
I find this quest for purity related to how we teach religions. If we teach Judaism, Christianity and Islam as separate and distinct, then it is much easier to caste one (or two) as fallible and the other as perfect. What is at work in leaving out knowledge of the common grounds from which the three Abrahamic traditions were born?
Why bother studying Andalusia? Because my traditions depend on it. One of the questions I receive (and that I wrestle with myself) is how Unitarian Universalism can provide depth and meaning in worship if it tries to be everything for everyone. One of my realizations in the course is that all identities, if taken to their depths, come to a place of profound interrelation with all. This course and Unitarian Universalism isn’t about trying to be everything or even consider everything, but loving what you know so much that the many places from which you come is made visible and sacred. This is as true for my United Methodist identity as it is for my UU identity. UUism has as much potential to replicate systems of misunderstanding and purity as does United Methodism or Catholicism or Buddhism for that matter. Said another way, United Methodism has as much potential as UUism to use it’s own complex and interwoven history as a place to further compassion and multireligiosity in the world.
Why bother studying Andalusia? Because my God depends on it. During the Jewish High Holy Days, I was faced with the realization that I love Adonai and pray to Adonai as a non Jew. How does this work? Is this ok? I grew up in a liberal United Methodist Church that sings/ prays/ worships to a God that seemed identical to the loving and intimate Jewish God prayed to at Chochmat Halev. And yet, as a Christian, I have not felt the ways in which Jews are discriminated against institutionally and culturally. (As a person who holds Christian privilege, I often claim Christian even though I don’t actually believe Jesus was divine (any more than the rest of us are)). I have realized that if I want to pray to a God that is God to Muslims and Jews as well as Christians, and that embraces all peoples no matter their faith, then I must reflect this God in my life. Right now I am doing this by learning about the deep ways Judaism, Christianity and Islam have impacted and relate with one another, and by hopefully spreading religious tolerance by sharing this knowledge with my family and friends.
Why bother? Because I depend on it. I just participated in a ½ day workshop with Paul Kivel (a bay-area educator, activist and author) on Christian Hegemony. I was struck by the extent to which how I relate with God, others and myself is influenced by Christian/ imperialist mode of being and thinking. After connecting Christian hegemony with different “isms” like racism, heterosexism, anti-Semitism, capitalism, imperialism, anti-arab, environmental destruction, able-ism, Islamophobia, and sexism, we drew up some of the foundational values that come from a Christianity defined by imperialism. I was amazed at how infused many of these values are in my own personal identity. Even as I tried to “disarm” some values, I was using other harmful values in the process.
Some of these values are:
• Binary systems (something or someone is either good or bad; sinner or saved, God or the Devil. This confines all decisions to be about a moral judgment. It’s hard to hold complexity and hard not to take sides.
• Everything caste in a hierarchy
• Righteous Superiority
• One Truth (that excludes all other “small t” truths.
• Constant threat (everything is under siege from the “Other side”
• Individualism (the most important thing is one’s personal relationship with God. So, one’s personal integrity is most important, and when one has messed up or hurt someone, the most common response is defensiveness (turning the conversation to be about “me” and not about the impact or issue).
• Love (this one is hard for me, but it asks the hard question of how true is universal love? Who is allowed to “fall out” of the Caring Community? To whom does God’s love really include?)
• Missionaries (debunking the “good intentions” idea. The cross has always come with the sword. This has led to incredible increases in poverty and destruction the world over.)
• Dominion over nature
• Linear and binary relationship with time. )That we are progressing as a species. This very much related to feeling we are “on God’s side” or following some divine plan.)
• Apocalyptic
• Jesus as Savior (disempowering to communities if you can’t do it yourself but need some divine intervention to make things better).
• Suffering leads to Redemption (psychological war preparation- suffering as good)
• Don’t compromise (compromising is cooperating with evil. This normalizes struggle)
• Anti-Jewish
• Victimization as the “Chosen People” (again, “we” are always under siege)
• Judgment and Salvation (in the short term, how we (I) internalize judgment and judge others. I build up myself by judging others.)
• Duty to God is most important (and to all higher on the hierarchy)
• Obedience and Submission (one example was CA’s attempt to pass legislation to fund an education campaign about the harms of spanking, which failed.)
• Purity (of soul, thoughts, actions, etc.)
• Everything has cosmic consequences (every decision not just about here and now but has real ultimate consequences)
• Capitalism (the terms individualism actually was invented in the 17th C. with the creation of capitalism. It was used by Adam Smith in the phrase, “economic individualism.” This has led to an atomizing and severing of bonds between people.)
This list is incomplete and rather abbreviated. How this relates to this class and my life is realizing how much fear informs how I relate with myself and others. I think of how the Muslim rulers of Al Andalus didn’t “need” to punish non-Muslims because they didn’t feel threatened by them. Their identity wasn’t based on proving the “Other” as wrong, or even having an “Other” to begin with. When I relate with myself from a place of belief and love (here we are with the binaries again!), over fear, then my personal inadequacies and the inadequacies of my relations aren’t important, as our imperfections as well as our strengths are what connects us.
Why bother studying Andalusia? Why put forth all this energy and expense towards studying a specific time and place that supposedly is so far away from the current time and place in which we live (farther physically for some than for others, as this is a distance-learning course!)? My question in response is, “how can you not??” How can you not study the inter-relations between Islam, Judaism and Christianity when that is what is true?? The next question for me, then, is, “Why bother studying Christianity, Islam and Judaism as separate and distinct religions?” Why bother studying them without any analysis on contemporary culture and how religion and imperialism have worked together to lift up and push down certain bodies and peoples?
One of the things that struck me in learning about the formation of the early Christian Church was how much the Bishops and Councils tried to ignore Judaism. Actually, much of Christian identity was negative, in that the early Church leaders were defining Christianity by how it was not like Judaism. Judaism was a nuisance to the early Christians who wanted to show the inerrant and complete message of Christianity. The fact that Christianity came from Judaism, and that Jesus was a Jew, just got in the way.
I find this quest for purity related to how we teach religions. If we teach Judaism, Christianity and Islam as separate and distinct, then it is much easier to caste one (or two) as fallible and the other as perfect. What is at work in leaving out knowledge of the common grounds from which the three Abrahamic traditions were born?
Why bother studying Andalusia? Because my traditions depend on it. One of the questions I receive (and that I wrestle with myself) is how Unitarian Universalism can provide depth and meaning in worship if it tries to be everything for everyone. One of my realizations in the course is that all identities, if taken to their depths, come to a place of profound interrelation with all. This course and Unitarian Universalism isn’t about trying to be everything or even consider everything, but loving what you know so much that the many places from which you come is made visible and sacred. This is as true for my United Methodist identity as it is for my UU identity. UUism has as much potential to replicate systems of misunderstanding and purity as does United Methodism or Catholicism or Buddhism for that matter. Said another way, United Methodism has as much potential as UUism to use it’s own complex and interwoven history as a place to further compassion and multireligiosity in the world.
Why bother studying Andalusia? Because my God depends on it. During the Jewish High Holy Days, I was faced with the realization that I love Adonai and pray to Adonai as a non Jew. How does this work? Is this ok? I grew up in a liberal United Methodist Church that sings/ prays/ worships to a God that seemed identical to the loving and intimate Jewish God prayed to at Chochmat Halev. And yet, as a Christian, I have not felt the ways in which Jews are discriminated against institutionally and culturally. (As a person who holds Christian privilege, I often claim Christian even though I don’t actually believe Jesus was divine (any more than the rest of us are)). I have realized that if I want to pray to a God that is God to Muslims and Jews as well as Christians, and that embraces all peoples no matter their faith, then I must reflect this God in my life. Right now I am doing this by learning about the deep ways Judaism, Christianity and Islam have impacted and relate with one another, and by hopefully spreading religious tolerance by sharing this knowledge with my family and friends.
Why bother? Because I depend on it. I just participated in a ½ day workshop with Paul Kivel (a bay-area educator, activist and author) on Christian Hegemony. I was struck by the extent to which how I relate with God, others and myself is influenced by Christian/ imperialist mode of being and thinking. After connecting Christian hegemony with different “isms” like racism, heterosexism, anti-Semitism, capitalism, imperialism, anti-arab, environmental destruction, able-ism, Islamophobia, and sexism, we drew up some of the foundational values that come from a Christianity defined by imperialism. I was amazed at how infused many of these values are in my own personal identity. Even as I tried to “disarm” some values, I was using other harmful values in the process.
Some of these values are:
• Binary systems (something or someone is either good or bad; sinner or saved, God or the Devil. This confines all decisions to be about a moral judgment. It’s hard to hold complexity and hard not to take sides.
• Everything caste in a hierarchy
• Righteous Superiority
• One Truth (that excludes all other “small t” truths.
• Constant threat (everything is under siege from the “Other side”
• Individualism (the most important thing is one’s personal relationship with God. So, one’s personal integrity is most important, and when one has messed up or hurt someone, the most common response is defensiveness (turning the conversation to be about “me” and not about the impact or issue).
• Love (this one is hard for me, but it asks the hard question of how true is universal love? Who is allowed to “fall out” of the Caring Community? To whom does God’s love really include?)
• Missionaries (debunking the “good intentions” idea. The cross has always come with the sword. This has led to incredible increases in poverty and destruction the world over.)
• Dominion over nature
• Linear and binary relationship with time. )That we are progressing as a species. This very much related to feeling we are “on God’s side” or following some divine plan.)
• Apocalyptic
• Jesus as Savior (disempowering to communities if you can’t do it yourself but need some divine intervention to make things better).
• Suffering leads to Redemption (psychological war preparation- suffering as good)
• Don’t compromise (compromising is cooperating with evil. This normalizes struggle)
• Anti-Jewish
• Victimization as the “Chosen People” (again, “we” are always under siege)
• Judgment and Salvation (in the short term, how we (I) internalize judgment and judge others. I build up myself by judging others.)
• Duty to God is most important (and to all higher on the hierarchy)
• Obedience and Submission (one example was CA’s attempt to pass legislation to fund an education campaign about the harms of spanking, which failed.)
• Purity (of soul, thoughts, actions, etc.)
• Everything has cosmic consequences (every decision not just about here and now but has real ultimate consequences)
• Capitalism (the terms individualism actually was invented in the 17th C. with the creation of capitalism. It was used by Adam Smith in the phrase, “economic individualism.” This has led to an atomizing and severing of bonds between people.)
This list is incomplete and rather abbreviated. How this relates to this class and my life is realizing how much fear informs how I relate with myself and others. I think of how the Muslim rulers of Al Andalus didn’t “need” to punish non-Muslims because they didn’t feel threatened by them. Their identity wasn’t based on proving the “Other” as wrong, or even having an “Other” to begin with. When I relate with myself from a place of belief and love (here we are with the binaries again!), over fear, then my personal inadequacies and the inadequacies of my relations aren’t important, as our imperfections as well as our strengths are what connects us.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Follow up with American Religious History professor
I wanted to follow up (see previous blog) with the conversation I had with my professor of "American Religious History" who has hardly included Judaism and has completely excluded Islam from our class that has a focus on education to foster ecumenical dialogue and understanding. I write this out of a sincere desire to know if what he said was true, as it completely baffles me.
At first he responded to my question around the short time we spent on Judaism by saying that Judaism really isn't big in the picture of U.S. religious history. That we are an overwhelmingly protestant country, religiously and culturally, and Judaism just isn't a big part in our history. Ok, I can kind-of understand that. But I grew up protestant! Of course I can understand a history that mirrors my own personal identity. Is Judaism's small impact on U.S. religious history really true?
When I asked about Islam, the professor defended himself by saying that this isn't a world religion's class and then what about Buddhism and Hinduism and Indigenous religions? I agreed that you have to make choices in creating a class and that there is power in limiting one's scope so one can go deeper. However, Islam, Christianity and Judaism are particularly relevant to one another as Abrahamic religions, religions "of the book." I explained where my question was coming from- from learning about Andalusia (which was very significant in the time and region when explorers were making their way to the "New World.") Islam and Christianity and Judaism were very much in relation with one another, so isn't it possible Islam affected the Catholicism and even the Protestantism that came over to the Colonies? His answer: no. As simple as that- Islam did not affect Catholicism or Protestantism when they founded and spread in the "New World."
Somehow I can't quite believe this. I think of how African American slaves found each other and were able to understand one another because of the exact tune and rhythm of the Islamic prayers they grew up. And how African Americans formed whole denominations and cultures within Protestantism. I also wonder how Islam influenced Catholicism and Protestantism before the start of slavery, and outside of the slave trade. Any thoughts?
At first he responded to my question around the short time we spent on Judaism by saying that Judaism really isn't big in the picture of U.S. religious history. That we are an overwhelmingly protestant country, religiously and culturally, and Judaism just isn't a big part in our history. Ok, I can kind-of understand that. But I grew up protestant! Of course I can understand a history that mirrors my own personal identity. Is Judaism's small impact on U.S. religious history really true?
When I asked about Islam, the professor defended himself by saying that this isn't a world religion's class and then what about Buddhism and Hinduism and Indigenous religions? I agreed that you have to make choices in creating a class and that there is power in limiting one's scope so one can go deeper. However, Islam, Christianity and Judaism are particularly relevant to one another as Abrahamic religions, religions "of the book." I explained where my question was coming from- from learning about Andalusia (which was very significant in the time and region when explorers were making their way to the "New World.") Islam and Christianity and Judaism were very much in relation with one another, so isn't it possible Islam affected the Catholicism and even the Protestantism that came over to the Colonies? His answer: no. As simple as that- Islam did not affect Catholicism or Protestantism when they founded and spread in the "New World."
Somehow I can't quite believe this. I think of how African American slaves found each other and were able to understand one another because of the exact tune and rhythm of the Islamic prayers they grew up. And how African Americans formed whole denominations and cultures within Protestantism. I also wonder how Islam influenced Catholicism and Protestantism before the start of slavery, and outside of the slave trade. Any thoughts?
no comparison!
la ilaha ill’allah
Nothing exists outside of the One that is the source of all existence.
This foundational belief of Islam is powerful for me. It deeply challenges me to consider myself with radical love, as no part of me is outside of the Oneness of Life. It also helps me to recognize the ways in which racism, classism and all oppressions are advanced- that certain peoples and ways of being have been cast as “other,” as outside the Oneness who’s very definition depends on total inclusion.
It is hard to get away from the Christian way of thinking that necessitates one dominant and superior religion. My professor connected this with how we as a species have subscribed to the idea that human beings must dominate the earth. For Christians and cultural Christians, we have been taught (directly or indirectly through informal culture and ways of thinking) that it is our religious duty to defeat the chaos and the diversity that is inherent in earth’s creation. You can continue this perspective of domination down the line of oppressions- one superior race, superior way of knowing, so on and so forth.
What is tempting for me as a religious liberal is to put any form of orthodoxy outside the Oneness of all Existence. But am I not just falling prey to the “gifts” of Christian Supremacy of needing something to exclude and extinguish in order to expand self worth and “pure” identity? There is a saying, “There are as many ways to God as there are people and beings on this earth.” All are part of me, as I am part of the Oneness that excludes nothing.
How much do I compare myself to others in order to feel good about myself? I do this way more than I like to admit. In letting go of comparison (which I can do only for brief moments of time), I fall into a feeling of trust and union with God. There is a resilience to judgment and a love that is new that holds me and fills me.
When I remember this deep and eternal union, my judgments against myself and my friends lose power. It’s not that I don’t get angry or hurt by others and myself, but I am able to respond more quickly with compassion and openness. In connection, difference can be shared.
Nothing exists outside of the One that is the source of all existence.
This foundational belief of Islam is powerful for me. It deeply challenges me to consider myself with radical love, as no part of me is outside of the Oneness of Life. It also helps me to recognize the ways in which racism, classism and all oppressions are advanced- that certain peoples and ways of being have been cast as “other,” as outside the Oneness who’s very definition depends on total inclusion.
It is hard to get away from the Christian way of thinking that necessitates one dominant and superior religion. My professor connected this with how we as a species have subscribed to the idea that human beings must dominate the earth. For Christians and cultural Christians, we have been taught (directly or indirectly through informal culture and ways of thinking) that it is our religious duty to defeat the chaos and the diversity that is inherent in earth’s creation. You can continue this perspective of domination down the line of oppressions- one superior race, superior way of knowing, so on and so forth.
What is tempting for me as a religious liberal is to put any form of orthodoxy outside the Oneness of all Existence. But am I not just falling prey to the “gifts” of Christian Supremacy of needing something to exclude and extinguish in order to expand self worth and “pure” identity? There is a saying, “There are as many ways to God as there are people and beings on this earth.” All are part of me, as I am part of the Oneness that excludes nothing.
How much do I compare myself to others in order to feel good about myself? I do this way more than I like to admit. In letting go of comparison (which I can do only for brief moments of time), I fall into a feeling of trust and union with God. There is a resilience to judgment and a love that is new that holds me and fills me.
When I remember this deep and eternal union, my judgments against myself and my friends lose power. It’s not that I don’t get angry or hurt by others and myself, but I am able to respond more quickly with compassion and openness. In connection, difference can be shared.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Looking Glass
Using an image from one of my classmates, two-way reflection glasses tell, in a way, the kind of way Western culture has been learning about Africa and Afro-culture. Two-way reflection glasses are an interrogation tool used in prisons and other places where prisoners are held. The observer is kept in the dark while the observed can only see him/herself back again, as the glass on that side acts as a mirror. Possibility for any kind of relationship is obliterated.
I have been thinking about relationship and knowledge a lot lately. In my American Religious History class, which has a primary purpose to foster ecumenical dialogue through education, Islam has NOT been mentioned at all (and looking at the syllabus, I doubt it will…but don’t worry, I’ll change that ☺). Judaism got a whole 90 minutes. Of course, there is a lot to cover in just one semester. But it is important to look at how we choose what to include and exclude.
In learning about how Western Anthropology has completely ignored Islam’s long-standing presence and impact in Africa (before and beyond the neatly bound dates and places Islam is said to have entered and existed in Africa), I am realizing how important Islam and Africa are to our history- MY history, everyone’s history. Whether you grew up a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Pagan, Hindu, Buddhist, Earth-centered, Agnostic, WHATEVER, whether you and your people were colonized by Christianity, or whether you have long Christian roots, Islam is part of your history.
There was so much interaction and cultural sharing in the time of Al-Andalus (and also since then and before then), it is impossible to distinguish any single origin for any group. This doesn’t mean we say that and go on with how we have been teaching history. I want to KNOW my Islamic influences! My Jewish influences, etc. etc.
For example, Islam has a very multi-sensory practice of literacy. (By the way, pages (which then opened space for the evolution of books) were actually invented by Muslims, if I remember correctly, and yet Africa is often discounted because of their supposed history as an “illiterate” continent.)
Ok, back to Islamic literacy. Literacy was not evaluated by whether or not an individual could read symbols on a page. No, Islam’s literacy was much more holistic than that. It didn’t just stop at the eye. It was a whole body thing, and a community thing. Communities would grow in knowledge through the way people learned to read. Because there weren’t enough books and pages for people, literature/ prayers/ poems, etc were often called/ read/ sung out loud and people would repeat it. Reading became a collective act for unifying in sound, rhythm, pitch, and meaning taken part by a community.
This was so pervasive that when African slaves were brought over to the Americas, slaves often found others from similar tribes or regions because of the exact way they would pray- the exact tone and rhythm of their spoken words. This influenced the religious expression of the slaves, and this is an important part for any course dealing with “American Religious History.” End point. ☺
In my Unitarian Universalist History class, we are learning about the extensive dialogues and debates people undertook in the, oh gosh, 16th C.?? Anyway, the time of the Reformation and huge religious fervor in Europe and in the U.S. As a U.S. citizen, I was amazed at how committed people were to dialogue even when the dialogue appears (to me, at least) to be incredibly brutal and harsh. People went to great pains to communicate with people they completely disagreed with! (U.S. culture doesn’t appreciate this openness to dialogue, I think, as much as Europe does. We get offended too easily, equating our own personal identity with what we think and what words we say).
Anyway, one particular relationship we were reading about was between a Jew and an Arian Christian. What I love about their story is their commitment to relationship. In the Arian’s criticizing of the Jew’s religion, he was also exposing how much he knew about Judaism (and vise versa). Even in the harsh disagreements, there was a real respect and tolerance for difference that I sorely long for today.
But today, we more often get a two-way looking glass instead of table and tea and conversation, and ignorance founds our relationships (or lack there of). This leads, I think to a culture that idealizes and demonizes things/ people/ cultures. I think idealization and demonization are the same thing, when one considers their impact in the world. They both put someone or culture on a pedestal (the pedestal could be a throne or a burning stake) and the person/ culture is no longer fully human. Once this happens, once there is no access to the imperfections, struggles, pains and joys that bond us on a deep and spiritual level, the possibility for impact is lost, or at least diminished. Once impact is lost, how can we ground our work for justice? How can we truly fight for justice and liberation when we no longer feel connected to the people we are fighting for (and ourselves)?
I have been thinking about relationship and knowledge a lot lately. In my American Religious History class, which has a primary purpose to foster ecumenical dialogue through education, Islam has NOT been mentioned at all (and looking at the syllabus, I doubt it will…but don’t worry, I’ll change that ☺). Judaism got a whole 90 minutes. Of course, there is a lot to cover in just one semester. But it is important to look at how we choose what to include and exclude.
In learning about how Western Anthropology has completely ignored Islam’s long-standing presence and impact in Africa (before and beyond the neatly bound dates and places Islam is said to have entered and existed in Africa), I am realizing how important Islam and Africa are to our history- MY history, everyone’s history. Whether you grew up a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Pagan, Hindu, Buddhist, Earth-centered, Agnostic, WHATEVER, whether you and your people were colonized by Christianity, or whether you have long Christian roots, Islam is part of your history.
There was so much interaction and cultural sharing in the time of Al-Andalus (and also since then and before then), it is impossible to distinguish any single origin for any group. This doesn’t mean we say that and go on with how we have been teaching history. I want to KNOW my Islamic influences! My Jewish influences, etc. etc.
For example, Islam has a very multi-sensory practice of literacy. (By the way, pages (which then opened space for the evolution of books) were actually invented by Muslims, if I remember correctly, and yet Africa is often discounted because of their supposed history as an “illiterate” continent.)
Ok, back to Islamic literacy. Literacy was not evaluated by whether or not an individual could read symbols on a page. No, Islam’s literacy was much more holistic than that. It didn’t just stop at the eye. It was a whole body thing, and a community thing. Communities would grow in knowledge through the way people learned to read. Because there weren’t enough books and pages for people, literature/ prayers/ poems, etc were often called/ read/ sung out loud and people would repeat it. Reading became a collective act for unifying in sound, rhythm, pitch, and meaning taken part by a community.
This was so pervasive that when African slaves were brought over to the Americas, slaves often found others from similar tribes or regions because of the exact way they would pray- the exact tone and rhythm of their spoken words. This influenced the religious expression of the slaves, and this is an important part for any course dealing with “American Religious History.” End point. ☺
In my Unitarian Universalist History class, we are learning about the extensive dialogues and debates people undertook in the, oh gosh, 16th C.?? Anyway, the time of the Reformation and huge religious fervor in Europe and in the U.S. As a U.S. citizen, I was amazed at how committed people were to dialogue even when the dialogue appears (to me, at least) to be incredibly brutal and harsh. People went to great pains to communicate with people they completely disagreed with! (U.S. culture doesn’t appreciate this openness to dialogue, I think, as much as Europe does. We get offended too easily, equating our own personal identity with what we think and what words we say).
Anyway, one particular relationship we were reading about was between a Jew and an Arian Christian. What I love about their story is their commitment to relationship. In the Arian’s criticizing of the Jew’s religion, he was also exposing how much he knew about Judaism (and vise versa). Even in the harsh disagreements, there was a real respect and tolerance for difference that I sorely long for today.
But today, we more often get a two-way looking glass instead of table and tea and conversation, and ignorance founds our relationships (or lack there of). This leads, I think to a culture that idealizes and demonizes things/ people/ cultures. I think idealization and demonization are the same thing, when one considers their impact in the world. They both put someone or culture on a pedestal (the pedestal could be a throne or a burning stake) and the person/ culture is no longer fully human. Once this happens, once there is no access to the imperfections, struggles, pains and joys that bond us on a deep and spiritual level, the possibility for impact is lost, or at least diminished. Once impact is lost, how can we ground our work for justice? How can we truly fight for justice and liberation when we no longer feel connected to the people we are fighting for (and ourselves)?
Monday, October 27, 2008
knowledge
It takes a while for me to claim knowledge, I think. :) I get used to the learning stage and it’s hard for me to embody confidence. This morning in aikido we were learning a technique. I was the newest person there, even though I have been a student for a whole year, and I kind-of remained in the stage of seeking instruction throughout the whole class. I am used to being the “new student.” Even though I learned it fairly quickly, I was still tentative in my motions. My hope is that I can cherish my learning stage and also grow into my claiming knowledge stage so I can be part of the sharing of much needed and empowering knowledge on this earth.
The Wrong Name
For six hours while I was in Cincinnati, I phone banked for the Obama campaign. On one of my calls, I talked with an elderly man who was undecided for whom he would vote for president. After talking about his disenchantment with politicians (“who never do even twenty-five percent of what they say they’re going to do!”), he finally got around to the crux of his indecisiveness about Obama. “I just can’t see myself voting for a man for president with that name,” he said. “It sounds too much like Osama Bin Laden or Hussein.” He also said that he was uncomfortable with Obama’s history with Islam. Even though he knew that Obama never practiced Islam, he thought that he grew up in a Muslim family, and, “ya know,” he said, “99% of Muslims are fundamentalist.”
He said that unlike some other people, he wasn’t caught up on the “race thing” because Obama is just as much white as he is Black.
Oh, boy! How was I going to respond to this?? There are so many prejudices underlying what he was saying! How could I be honest to myself and respond in a way that doesn’t alienate him?
I remember talking about the mainstream media and how it wants us to believe certain things about Islam that simply aren’t true- that in fact it is only a small percentage of Muslims that are fundamentalist, and that, as a person who studies religion, I see a lot of similarities between moderate Muslims and Christians, who all believe in a loving God and in the value of strong families (as I was looking at a pamphlet “Obama is a man of faith” with a picture and title of him as a “family man” on it.) I talked about how we can judge things and people by their titles (names, titles of faith, etc.), but what really matters is what’s underneath a title- what people believe and how we live is what matters.
We talked for twenty minutes and I cannot say that I convinced him to vote for Obama. But I did feel like he listened. I did feel like he wasn’t happy with the prejudices he did acknowledge having (and probably wouldn’t be happy with the numerous prejudices I saw that he wasn’t aware of), and he wanted to open up to change. He wanted to gain a new perspective.
Confronting the realities of Christian Supremacy and racism was hard, and yet, I was able to swallow and keep pursuing relationship with this man I did not know. I felt like my kinship with him was more important than the harmful state of his beliefs. Would it have been different if I had been Muslim or Jewish or Black? Perhaps. Perhaps the injury would have been too close to my heart for me to genuinely remain open to this man. But I am glad I did, for there are a lot of people just like him who, with a little care and listening, may turn to want to rid themselves of some of the harmful thinking that they have learned.
He said that unlike some other people, he wasn’t caught up on the “race thing” because Obama is just as much white as he is Black.
Oh, boy! How was I going to respond to this?? There are so many prejudices underlying what he was saying! How could I be honest to myself and respond in a way that doesn’t alienate him?
I remember talking about the mainstream media and how it wants us to believe certain things about Islam that simply aren’t true- that in fact it is only a small percentage of Muslims that are fundamentalist, and that, as a person who studies religion, I see a lot of similarities between moderate Muslims and Christians, who all believe in a loving God and in the value of strong families (as I was looking at a pamphlet “Obama is a man of faith” with a picture and title of him as a “family man” on it.) I talked about how we can judge things and people by their titles (names, titles of faith, etc.), but what really matters is what’s underneath a title- what people believe and how we live is what matters.
We talked for twenty minutes and I cannot say that I convinced him to vote for Obama. But I did feel like he listened. I did feel like he wasn’t happy with the prejudices he did acknowledge having (and probably wouldn’t be happy with the numerous prejudices I saw that he wasn’t aware of), and he wanted to open up to change. He wanted to gain a new perspective.
Confronting the realities of Christian Supremacy and racism was hard, and yet, I was able to swallow and keep pursuing relationship with this man I did not know. I felt like my kinship with him was more important than the harmful state of his beliefs. Would it have been different if I had been Muslim or Jewish or Black? Perhaps. Perhaps the injury would have been too close to my heart for me to genuinely remain open to this man. But I am glad I did, for there are a lot of people just like him who, with a little care and listening, may turn to want to rid themselves of some of the harmful thinking that they have learned.
Privilege and Praise
I have been wrestling with the appropriateness of my Jewish immersion during the High Holy Days and my newfound love of Judaism. In the shower, I put new words in the folk song “Shenandoah:” “Oh, Adonai, I long to see you…” Is it ok that I love the Jewish God and yet am not Jewish??? Elohim, Adonai, Hashem…Infinitely loving God whose compassion reaches to every corner and crest of this earth. Whose full power is unknowable and yet intervenes in our daily life if only we awaken ourselves to it. My heart and lungs and mind become one as I sing my love to Adonai, surrounded by the people of Chochmat Halev, unafraid to praise such a beautiful presence, a holy creation. Why has it taken to this point in my life for me to relax fully into what feels to be my most natural state- a state of complete praise for the Holy? There is something about U.S. culture that admonishes such complete and abandoned praise. On the one hand, we punish those who don’t believe in the Christian God. For those who do believe in a Christian God, only believe to a point, we say. Believe, but don’t let it get to your heart. Don’t get too carried away in your affection for God’s love and grace. Don’t lose control.
My inclination for praise is deeper than my social location. I believe that my social location is part of it- My race and class privilege has enabled me to witness, again and again, the sheer beauty of the earth through camping trips and vacations. I have literally known abundance in food and shelter and clothing. The resources made available to me through friends and community have assisted my educational experiences.
And yet, there is something deeper. Something deep in me longs to rest completely and fully in God’s embrace. Something deep in me knows that I cannot rest completely and fully in God’s grace alone- that I am not alone- I am inherently intertwined in community and depend on community to know God in God’s fullest and truest self. And even then we can never completely know the extent of God’s grace.
For the first time, it was ok for me to let go- completely let go of my critical thoughts and opinions. The only thing I had to do was surrender. Surrender to the power of love and community and song to carry us to higher and lower realms. Realms of the holy.
I am caught in this tension between privilege and praise. I am so moved by this Jewish community, Chochmat Halev, whose praise for an infinitely loving and gracious God rings true in my heart. While I immerse myself in Jewish song and ritual, I realize that I am not Jewish. As a white person who can pass as Christian and who grew up United Methodist, I do not feel the danger of being Jewish in a Christian country. What does it mean to say, “I’m a Jew?” What are the ways one’s existence is denied in this country, in this day? One year ago, six people were shot at Jewish Federation of Seattle- targeted by a man who “hated Jews” … In Missouri last week, several middle school students are facing disciplinary action because they started a “Hit a Jew Day.” The U.S. calendar mirrors the Christian calendar. Christianity is the assumed religion of chaplains and spiritual care providers and clients in many public hospitals and prisons. Christian supremacy infiltrates U.S. culture and institutions in so many ways, much of which I do not yet recognize as someone who grew up Christian.
I also want to recognize that I did grow up with an infinitely loving God, made known to me through my United Methodist Church and my parents. This is the God that I pray to and praise in solitude and among friends. There’s a part of me that wants to claim Adonai as my God too. Is there really a Jewish God, Muslim God and Christian God that are separate and distinct? When I try to sink my mental chatter deeper into my body, I want to believe that there is just one God, one loving presence that encompasses all religions, all ways of praise, on this earth. How can I believe this and accept the fact that Christians have long distinguished themselves from Judaism and Islam by separating out a Christian God. Christians (have) purposefully and violently distance and distanced themselves from the Jewish God (persecuting Jews and Muslims) in order to prop up their identity.
How can I be responsible in my growing knowledge and love of Judaism and different faiths? As I find myself deeply fed by Judaism, how can I account for the realities of anti-Semitism and anti-Islamic sentiment and practice that are alive and well in our country and around the world?
My inclination for praise is deeper than my social location. I believe that my social location is part of it- My race and class privilege has enabled me to witness, again and again, the sheer beauty of the earth through camping trips and vacations. I have literally known abundance in food and shelter and clothing. The resources made available to me through friends and community have assisted my educational experiences.
And yet, there is something deeper. Something deep in me longs to rest completely and fully in God’s embrace. Something deep in me knows that I cannot rest completely and fully in God’s grace alone- that I am not alone- I am inherently intertwined in community and depend on community to know God in God’s fullest and truest self. And even then we can never completely know the extent of God’s grace.
For the first time, it was ok for me to let go- completely let go of my critical thoughts and opinions. The only thing I had to do was surrender. Surrender to the power of love and community and song to carry us to higher and lower realms. Realms of the holy.
I am caught in this tension between privilege and praise. I am so moved by this Jewish community, Chochmat Halev, whose praise for an infinitely loving and gracious God rings true in my heart. While I immerse myself in Jewish song and ritual, I realize that I am not Jewish. As a white person who can pass as Christian and who grew up United Methodist, I do not feel the danger of being Jewish in a Christian country. What does it mean to say, “I’m a Jew?” What are the ways one’s existence is denied in this country, in this day? One year ago, six people were shot at Jewish Federation of Seattle- targeted by a man who “hated Jews” … In Missouri last week, several middle school students are facing disciplinary action because they started a “Hit a Jew Day.” The U.S. calendar mirrors the Christian calendar. Christianity is the assumed religion of chaplains and spiritual care providers and clients in many public hospitals and prisons. Christian supremacy infiltrates U.S. culture and institutions in so many ways, much of which I do not yet recognize as someone who grew up Christian.
I also want to recognize that I did grow up with an infinitely loving God, made known to me through my United Methodist Church and my parents. This is the God that I pray to and praise in solitude and among friends. There’s a part of me that wants to claim Adonai as my God too. Is there really a Jewish God, Muslim God and Christian God that are separate and distinct? When I try to sink my mental chatter deeper into my body, I want to believe that there is just one God, one loving presence that encompasses all religions, all ways of praise, on this earth. How can I believe this and accept the fact that Christians have long distinguished themselves from Judaism and Islam by separating out a Christian God. Christians (have) purposefully and violently distance and distanced themselves from the Jewish God (persecuting Jews and Muslims) in order to prop up their identity.
How can I be responsible in my growing knowledge and love of Judaism and different faiths? As I find myself deeply fed by Judaism, how can I account for the realities of anti-Semitism and anti-Islamic sentiment and practice that are alive and well in our country and around the world?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
My Name
Maris? Why Maris? (sounds like mah- rees, like "Marice"). I choose to add my middle name to this blog because I like it and because it reminds me of who I am. Maris comes from the word mar- sea, or of the sea. For me, the sea is home. I grew up near the Puget Sound in Shoreline (north of Seattle) and would take walks and cold water plunges in the Sound's chilly grasp. Every time I step into the lapping waves, I dedicate my swim to something or someone. Each dunk a prayer.
While exploring the history of three religions that are almost always positioned against each other, I am continuously amazed at how much they share. It isn't that our differences aren't important- they are! But difference is actually grounds for deeper relation, not no relation or anti-relation.
The deeper connection I experience by swimming in the sea is like the deeper connection I am learning through Al-Andalus. My sea, my prayer, my history. May my name always remind me of this.
Welcome to my blog!
Hello! Welcome to Beloved Bewildering- my space for exploring Al- Andalus- the class and the place/time. Al-Andalus is the Arabic name for the place and time of modern day Spain, Portugal, Andorra, Gibraltar and a tiny bit of France. It endured from 711 to 1492 under Islamic rule as a relatively peaceful place where Christians, Muslims and Jews all lived together, thrived together, sharing in livelihood, culture and faith.
Al-Andalus-the-class is being taught online at Starr King School for the Ministry by Dr. Professor Ibrahim Farajaje'. And I am one of the lucky students taking the class.
So, please open your heart-mind as I have done for you. I believe that we are all emerging, changing beings. In this light I open up pretty vulnerable parts of who I am, as, I believe, the more I open, the more I learn (and hopefully, grow). I welcome welcome WELCOME you to participate in my learning, as alone, I only learn so much (not very much- I NEED you to learn!)
Thank you for taking part in my life in this way. Love, Cassie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
