Grateful for Gratitude

Giving thanks for abundance
is sweeter than the abundance itself.
Should one who is absorbed with the Generous One
be distracted by the gift?
Thankfulness is the soul of benifence;
abundance is but the hunk,
for thankfulness brings you to the place where the Beloved lives.
Abundance yields heedlessness;
thankfulness, alertness:
hunt for bounty with the snare of gratitude to the King.
Mathnawi III: 2895-2897

At last I sit alone. The Call to Prayer is singing outside the window of my hotel room, cracked open for optimal listening. It is good to sit alone. It has been such a beautiful trip. Beautiful with laughter. Beautiful with the joy of sharing with other human beings the depths of my own heart and the wonders of this world. I have so relished the time with these beautiful souls with whom I have traveled and in this moment I cherish the solitude. I am leaving this adventure tomorrow and the trip now begs my reflection.
I can feel my gratitude. It feels like a cushy box that surrounds me. The edges are soft and when I flex my toes up towards my heart, my gratitude gets more intense and warm. But it is always there. In Konya, Ibrahim Baba (Baba is a term for endearment for people who are special and great teachers. That is my translation at least!) gave a sochbet (class) on gratitude. He spoke how much we (at least in the U.S.) forget to value gratitude. That remembering gratitude is a spiritual practice and also a kind of activism.
When Ibrahim Baba spoke, some thing unleashed inside me. Here I am, Lord! This is me, Ibrahim is talking about. Gratitude and love for life is such a huge part of my being and for so long I have, in small ways, hidden it or not know what to do with it. I have posed it against critical thinking and scorned myself for not analyzing things as readily as my classmates. I do not want to create a binary between gratitude and criticism. I believe one can be a very grateful person and have a critical mind, critiquing culture and systems of oppression in this world. But I have come to prize critique way over gratitude for what has and what is that has allowed me to exist in the present moment. And Ibrahim's words helped me to know myself in a more loving and confident way.
There is so much more to write but I will leave it here for now.
In deep gratitude for this small piece of time I am able to have on this beautiful earth, Cassie